today is the first blogpost this year :) many things have happen ....idun noe why it hurts so much when i see that msg about the 1st but i m not angry not jealous not sad just that struggle in my heart i feel pain i dun noe why .... maybe i just go sleep and wount feel pain anymore .. i have also learn that i need to love myself before i love others so i decided to stop cutting ever again for a better change . i want to show her i love her .... idun noe how to .....i cannot even start a conversation how lousy am i such i fail